A Mom's Day to Remember

The other night, I was on the couch watching the evening news, when Evan approached me and lovingly said..." I love you Mom. Happy mother's day!" I was teary-eyed from utter joy.

It was the first time EVER that he greeted me on his own during this special occassion. He is 2.5 years old now. I know he fully meant and comprehended what he just said. Which made that moment very memorable and touching.

Then last night, Riki and Evan excitedly ushered me to view this MTV.

I am one of the luckiest mom (and wife) in the whole wide world.

Happy mother's day to all moms :)

Drop It Like It's Hot (musings of a passive capitalist)

I was updating my calendar the other day of the various tasks and appointments I have lined up for the next few weeks (in line with my preparation for Evan’s baptism this coming December), when suddenly, the harsh reality struck me.

Just two more weeks and I’ll be going back to work already!

Back to corporate slavery. Back to the chaotic and pressure-filled environment, to the early mornings and late-nights telecon meetings. Hay.

Worse, I will be leaving HIM at home.

How can you be away from such an adorable son, who always has something new and cute to show Mommy everyday? How can you be away from those endearing squeals, gurgles and coos which make me feel so blessed in life (my son loves to converse already! how bright!)? How can you be away from that angelic smiling face and those resounding laughter which never fails to take my breath away? Triple hay.

If only I can drop work like it’s hot. I wish it was that simple.

In a previous post, I have shared my dream (or better yet, I have to start calling it a… GOAL) of setting myself free from the binds of an employer max by the age of 35. I await that defining moment where I can say “I QUIT!” to the corporate world and joyfully shout “YOU’RE HIRED!” to myself. I still have a month and four years to go.

Well, as most things are, these are EASIER SAID THAN DONE. I admit, this dream is not an easy feat to achieve, especially for a risk-averse person like me. I will not easily invest my resources on an undertaking unless I’m sure of a fast payback. Besides, it is hard to leave the comforts of a stable job that pays well, provides health benefits for you and your family and constantly offers travel opportunities around the world for free (and let me add, in style!). But still, the prospects of having full control of your time and using more of it for the family rather than in service of a legal entity has its own attractive merits, especially in the long-term.

So, the dream of becoming an entrepreneur continues.

Yes, I used the term DREAM because, as of this writing, I have not acted on it yet. My business plan is still stored in my head, I haven’t even put it in writing! The most I had done to earn an income aside from my salary is when I (and a friend) retailed some tees for just a month a long, long time ago. I remember spending my profit on a new rubber shoes afterwards. Talk about retained earnings. So you see, it is hard for me to hire myself (I have to offer ME a BETTER package than what I am getting now from my day job. I have to sustain my lifestyle (and whims) without burdening my husband. I have to help provide for my growing family). But I am not giving up hope.

Riki is my inspiration. He had already tested the waters several times in the past, and is still doing it now. It is quite oxymoronic really. He is an engineering graduate and I am the business graduate. Yet, he is the one who is more inclined to entrepreneurship than I am. We own a copious amount of business books. He bought 95% of them, the other 5% are my business books from college. He even subscribes to business magazines. He is such a voracious reader of business literature. More importantly, he used his learning from reading to concretize his business plans and make them a reality. He had already registered our corporation with SEC and had acquired all the business permits! Well, he is a risk-taker by nature so he is not afraid to initiate ventures (electronics trading, diaper business, hotdog stand, retail store, etc.). As most cases, not all of these were rewarding, but he is persistent nonetheless. He says, they are just “learning blocks”.

As for me, I try to support him in his enterprise in every way i can, providing financial accounting expertise, sometimes acting as a devil’s advocate/check and balance. But of course, success of such endeavors contribute to the family’s wealth! But more importantly, I try to learn from his experiences so that I can apply it one day in my own venture/s as well.

And in the event... that I fail in the future as a businesswoman, I still have a back-up plan. To be the wife (business partner) of a mega-successful entrepreneur. Teehee!

In the meantime… back to work in 13 days!

PBB (Postpartum Bane and Bonus)

Another overdue post. I started composing this a month ago, but was just able to finish it this week. Blogging definitely takes a backseat to more important tasks of motherhood. Nevertheless, I feel obliged to complete my childbirth story so that y’all (especially the prospective mothers) will see the TOTAL picture. Hehe (*devilish grin*)!

As narrated in a previous post, my labor and delivery via the C-section department (by choice!) was an easy, fast and relatively painless one. Looking back at the events that transpired during that fateful day now, two months later, it seems to be a very pleasant experience.

Recovery from the procedure, on the other hand…was an entirely DIFFERENT STORY. Read on for my post-partum woes:

1. Gas Pains. This is THE ULTIMATE BANE of my whole birth experience. The moment I got out of the recovery room and entered my hospital suite, my mom kept on reminding me to refrain from talking too much (or at all!) But how can I do that when I have so many stories to tell Riki and the rest of the family about my recent (and first ever) operation and my first bonding experience with my son Evan? How can I abstain from using my speech organ when I kept having visitors in my room who all demand a complete narrative of my delivery experience? Well, as always, mothers know best! I should have listened and not uttered a single word at all (which I will NOW remember for my next delivery/operation – if any!). My extended epidurals may have been so effective I did not feel any pain in my incision afterwards, but it did not helped at all eliminate those terrifying gas pains. They were so excruciating I cried so hard the first time I tried getting out of bed the day after the operation. And they were the reason why I was only able to successfully stand up and go see Evan in the nursery on my third day in the hospital. (Yeah, I know that is so pathetic but really, if you can only imagine and feel the pain I felt that time!). These pains continued way till my second week post-partum.

2. Flatulate, extricate, urinate and ambulate. In layman’s term, “pass gas and poop, make wee wee and then move your ass!”. If a patient (who just gave birth) is to graduate from the hospital, these are the milestones one has to achieve and complete first. In my non-pregnant state, passing gas and stool was just a breeze. Effortlessness is the word. Riki and I even have these funny moments where we compare who can pass gas longer and louder, who’s got a sinker and who’s got a floater. But man, after giving birth, all of those body movements seem SO HARD to do (especially if the nurse/doctor keeps on tracking your progress every hour and making marks on her chart! Such pressure!) Dang! If I was indeed being graded in doing those tasks, I would have flunked HARD. So how did I do it? I took a remedial to complete the course (read: induced movements via a suppository and laxatives). Emi madaya, hehe!

3. Afterpains. After the anesthesia faded, entered the various body pains – muscle, shoulder, stomach, chest. My body felt so sore and beaten during the second week!

4. Baby Blues: THIS I did not expect at all (*serious tone*). I had always been a happy and excited pregnant woman, I was well-prepared for the coming of my child and I have always thought I will be super A-OK after the delivery. It should be one of my happiest days. But I was wrong. It was just day five (the day after we left the hospital) when the baby blues hit me. I just felt sad suddenly. Over what exactly, I cannot pinpoint. During dusk, I would sit at the corner of our bed, stare at the window and just felt the tears running down my cheeks. I feel so depressed and so unfulfilled. So many frustrations and negative thoughts kept running in my mind. I was unsuccessful in breastfeeding. I don’t have an excuse now for being fat still. I am so clumsy as a mother. I can never have my old lifestyle anymore, where it is just me and Riki in the house. I am not used to a large household (read: more than two persons) post-marriage. I missed my old life with Riki, where we can do anything we want, anytime. I am so tired and drained in this new routine of sleepless nights and endless days – doing nothing but feeding and changing diaper. This emotional state lasted for a week. What brought me out of my misery? Riki brought me out of the house at the end of the first week, treated me on a date at our favorite nook restaurant (the T Salon) and to some retail therapy. When we went home, I was ok already. So fresh air lang pala solution sa depression ko. All i needed was a breather/break.

WHEW. So there, those were all the things which made me feel out of control during my first two weeks as a new mom. My woes which THEN made me swear to myself not to subject myself in this birthing experience again (simply because I felt I sucked in it!), and which made me doubt if I had made the right decision to even go through it in the first place. But all these ugly thoughts are gone now, details forgotten and simply doesn’t count anymore. They just lasted for two weeks, as part of my baby blues probably.

I still have some body pains now, from the continuing chores of baby lifting, feeding and diaper changing. But I don’t whine about it anymore. They are now joyful moments for me. I have even added to my skillset the following: baby bathing, nail trimming, ear and nose cleaning. And guess what, I am now an expert in all these tasks! And I await every chance to be able to do them again, all for my great love for my son Evan (who grows more adorable each and every day!).

Motherhood is indeed a challenge. But beyond those challenges, it brings this unexplainable great satisfaction and happiness. It is indeed worth all the pain and hardship, as every mother would attest to.

So what’s the bonus? These.

camerawhore at a very young age

adorable angel

how time flies!

HELLO WORLD!!!

***********************************************************

I was born last September 7, 2005 at 9:40 am at The Medical City.

I weighed 7.9 lbs and measured 50 cm. (My APGAR score is 9.9!)

My mom and dad named me Evan Sebastian.

Guess who I look like? MY DAD! Hihi... Sorry Mom! ;)

************************************************************

Two weeks ago, I finally expelled my placenta and delivered our much-awaited “chubby cheeks” baby boy-bundle of joy into this world. The next fourteen days after that fateful day had been a whirlwind of activities and emotions. The very expecting and well-prepared preggy mom that I was before, I still was not able to fully geared up myself for most of what occurred during those memorable (yet blurry in my memory now – how time flies so fast!) days. Motherhood is indeed a joyful but challenging phase in a woman’s life.

I have so many stories to tell. But I have so little time these days. I can only do this in between feedings (and diaper-changing).

So for now, let me share with you first the events that transpired during that very special day in our lives, the 7th of September…

Since I started my maternity leave last September 5 (Monday), I just stayed at home, doing last minute preparation for my scheduled trip to the hospital on September 8 (Thursday). Yes, we already requested for a scheduled cesarean on that date. I want my baby to have the same birthday as Mama Mary, he being a blessing from God to us. But then, it seems God has a different plan… because that Wednesday…

5:30 am: I was awaken by a new kind of pain in my lower abdomen. Oh no, is this what they call prelabor symptoms already? But I am just on my 39th week! I tried to ignore the pain since I know the early stage of labor (latent) can still last as long as a day and does not yet require a run for the hospital. However, the contractions seems to grow stronger (read: more painful) and become more consistent already. I started timing it and it is already at an interval of 5 minutes each. Yikeess! Am I in ACTIVE labor already?!!? But it’s only Wednesday. I am SUPPOSED to give birth tomorrow as per our plan!

I woke up Riki, we called my OB-GYNE after thirty minutes of observing the consistent contractions. After giving her a brief description of my conditions, she told me not to wait any further and rush to the hospital already. Yes, I am indeed in active labor and will be giving birth anytime.

It was fortunate that the contractions started early in the morning and Riki had not left for the office yet. He was still supposed to report for work that morning since our plan is to check in the hospital later that night. So hurriedly, he got dressed, picked our bags, and got ready to leave for the hospital.

However, I was not ready to go yet. I may have prepared our hospital bags, even the loot bags/goodies we will be giving out to our visitors later, but I have not yet “readied myself” for the trip. So I asked him to sit still first, drink some water and give me at least 15 minutes more.

Trying to ignore the labor pains, I took a quick but satisfying hot shower first (no way I am going to the hospital without shampooing my hair! I know it will take a while before I can do that after giving birth!), put on some fresh clothes and dabbed some lip and cheek tint in my face.

7:00 am: Now I am ready to go to the hospital. :)

7:30 am: We arrived at The Medical City, parked our car at the basement and walked to the Admission Office on the ground floor. Yes, we were not panicking yet and we tried to deal with the situation in a calm manner, since we were certain naman the baby won’t be coming out in an hour or so pa. I already have my admission slip prepared by my OB-GYNE the weekend before so I just handed it to the hospital staff, and they already know what to do. I was instantly wheel-chaired to the Pre-Labor Room, where they did all the necessary tests, fetal heartbeat monitoring and other preparations. Upon examination, my cervix was declared to be opened 3 cms. already. My God, it is just 3 cms and the pain is this excruciating already!? It’s C-Section definitely for me!

(But I am proud to say that although I was in great pain…yes I have low tolerance for contraction and labor pains….even an IE was hurtful that time… I did not do those stereotyped violent shouting and “blaming the husband” moaning we normally see in TV shows and movies. I just grimaced and twist silently in pain. Hehehe!)

8:15 am: My OB-GYNE arrived at the pre-labor room already. After checking my chart and my actual condition, she teasingly asked me the question “So, you still want to do trial labor first?” to which I immediately answered “NO! Please let’s get this done with. My baby is already in the cut-off weight to qualify for a c-section, the pain is killing me yet my cervix is only 3 cms dilated, what more if it is 7-10 cm! And I know I will end up cesarean anyways, so why prolong my pain!”. Riki, who was at my side during that time (and who seems to be in more pain than I was) totally agreed. So I signed the consent forms, the nurses did the pre-delivery/operating procedures (e.g. shaving and IV application) and off we go to the operating room.

8:50 am: The TMC’s delivery/operating rooms were so squeaky clean, brightly lit and relatively spacious. Everything looked so conducive for surgical operations. Hehehe! All the equipment are new so I felt relaxed and confident (the meticulous patient that I was) that my procedure will proceed smoothly and safely. Luckily, there was also a clock on the wall so I was able to keep track of time as the operation progressed.

This is my first time to have a surgical operation. And this is also the first time that I was bare in front of strangers, male and female. It felt weird at first, but since I know it’s plainly “medical” business, I tried to focus my attention on other things instead.

My anesthesiologist was a cool cono male doctor. He even asked me what type of music I want played during the procedure! Astig! I doubt if he has Lemonheads or Sebastian Bach in his player though. Sayang, if only I knew, I would have brought my own CD. So I just let him play whatever is in his collections. I started hearing a Julia Fordham song, or was it SwingOut Sisters?! (I am not a fan, so I can’t remember the title of the song… hehe) and that helped me relaxed a bit. He started working on my spinal cord and applying the local anesthesia/epidural/what-have-you in my back.

After a few minutes, I felt my lower body started to get numb, until I can’t feel any of the pinches he had been doing in my tummy anymore. That is when they started “slicing” me already.

During the entire “opening up” procedure, I just lay there, staring at the ceiling, listening at the music in the background, and eavesdropping at my anesthesiologist and pediatrician who were chatting besides me while my OB and her team are doing the work below. They were talking about showbiz news so I would like very much to join in their conversation, if only my OB had not instructed me not to talk during the procedure. Dang! This procedure is so cool. I can’t feel anything at all (note that this perception will slightly change in my post partum/recovery story).

9:40 am: I heard Evan’s first cry. My baby is finally out!!! I want to take a look at him right then and there but there is a blanket cover plunked in my chest area blocking my view. From the sides, I saw the pediatrician and her team carried and placed him in the bassinet at the other end of the room and started cleaning him. He was still crying. What a strong (but shrilly) cry. Wow! My baby is so brusko! :)

My OB came up to me, asked me sweetly if I was ok, smiled and reminded me not to talk yet. Then she told me that Evan already had meconium stain (he made poo-poo already inside the womb) but he was ok. He seems not to have swallowed the substance yet, so nothing to worry about. She assured me that they will take care of Evan at the NICU and congratulated me for being a new mom. After that defining moment, I have forever developed this deep bonding with my OB.

They wrapped Evan in a thermal blanket and brought him to my side. Finally I was able to see him, greet him for the first time and kiss him in the cheek. Yes, he really has those cute chubby cheeks. I AM NOW OFFICIALLY A MOM!

After that short encounter however, they whisked him away from me again to be brought to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) where he will be taken cared of in the meantime. I still have to be stitched up.

I had been expecting all along that I will be rather emotional and tearful during this particular moment, when I first see my child. But I was not. Rather, I felt so relieved and contented, so I was all smiles. Relieved that the delivery was all over, that Evan was born healthy and with no deformities. God has been so good to us!

11:00 am. I was brought to the recovery room, my intestines and uterus back inside me again, still wide awake (the sedative did not work on me. hehehe!)

Whew! In just half a day, I have gone through my birthing stage…maybe not during the date that we initially wanted... but in a manner I have always preferred… swift, smooth, painless and peaceful.

Or so I thought. Wait till you hear my post-partum narrative.

All Systems Go!

Just one more week and our wait for dear Evan will be over! :D

Everything and everyone is now ready for his arrival.

1. All work in the office had been properly turned over already (my out-of-office note is already composed and ready to be activated! Hehehe!). Friday will be my last day. VACATION at last from the workplace! (I just realized now that this is the first time in almost nine years of corporate slavery that I will have a vacation longer than two weeks! I love my son!)
2. My workstation is now in shipshape. I am such an OC, I will not be able to leave a messy cube! Everything had been properly filed and stored, my Inbox had been cleaned and all my files backed-up.

3. Our house had been scrubbed, vacuumed, polished and tidied already (thanks to CALL and CLEAN housekeeping services!) and is now geared up to accommodate all of Evan’s baby things. (i.e. crib, stroller, etc)
4. I have washed and ironed Evan’s baby clothes myself. Thanks to dear mommy-friends for the tips!
5. Our hospital bags are all packed and ready!
6. Digicam and camcorder batteries charged, memory cards and tapes all refreshed.

7. I had my eyebrows waxed already last weekend (for the picture taking in the hospital of course!).
8. Manicure and pedicure, check!
9. Pregnancy scrapbook almost complete!

10. My OB had already given me my Admission slip.
11. We have already set a date for my Cesarean procedure next week (long story – but aside from the fact that Evan is almost an 8-pounder now, I and Riki had decided not to do labor anymore!)
12. We will do the hospital room reservation (and viewing) on Saturday already.
13. Philhealth documents prepared and signed (yes, this is the only benefit – aside from my paid maternity leave – that I will be getting from my company).
14. Although I have already done the fund transfer from Riki’s account to mine as early as last month –hehehe!, my credit card is ready to be swiped (ANAK, SAYANG ANG MILES!!!). ;)

Excitement (and of course I admit, a tinge of fear) is in the air now. I pray that I will have a safe delivery and Evan will come out healthy and fine.

So please pray for us too! :)

Little baby on the way
Getting bigger everyday
Kicking Mommy here and there
God listen to our prayer

Little Evan though not yet here
Is loved so much, has grown quite dear
Delivery time is growing near
Thay’s why we pray our plea you’ll hear.

In Utero

Last night, we were able to finally catch the encore special of National Geographic Channel - the “In The Womb”. For parents-to-be like us, it was really a very enlightening and informative documentary. We were able to validate most of the special moments we have experienced with Evan while he is still in my womb. The first beating of the heart, the kicks, the regular hiccups, and of course, the exciting interaction via 3d/4d ultrasound imaging where we first saw him actually yawning and moving his head, hands and feet and adorably sucking his fingers.

The documentary showed that it is the father (or rather his mighty sperm which successfully penetrates the mother’s egg) that really determines the sex of the baby. This is what forms part of the famous Chromosome pair 23.

"An egg contains one X chromosome, but the sperm can carry either a single X or a single Y chromosome. A sperm carrying a Y chromosome will produce a male - XY - and a sperm carrying an X will result in a female - XX."

So there, we’re having a boy…thanks to Riki’s winner sperm! Hahaha!

After watching the show, I dug into our old photo albums to look at our own baby pictures.

So sino kamukha ni Evan? :)

Emi ------------- Evan ------------ Riki

My Grand Baby Shower

Yesterday, my work colleagues gave me a "surprise" baby shower party in the office. Good thing i brought my camcorder that day so i was able to capture this very memorable moment! (A friend from the office texted my hubby early that morning about the shower plans, too bad my nocturnal hubby was still snoring, i was the one who read the text message. Haha!)

I have been to so many baby showers in the past, but let me just say this was the most fun of them all! ;)

Why? Let me count the reasons:

1. My dear friends organized the event for me (during office hours!). I was really touched.
2. My extra generous big bosses gave me a GRACO lightweight travel system - a complete set of baby stroller and baby car seat/carrier - as a gift!!!

3. A yummy PURPLE cake

4. Lots of food for everyone in the party to enjoy (everyone shelled out some bucks)

5. a GRACO stroller and car seat/carrier that matches Evan's playard/crib! Yey!

6. Fun game where people cracked up guessing who is the baby in the picture (name that 'ture!)

7. Sweet messages and well-wishes from officemates inside a symbolic feeding bottle

8. a cool GRACO stroller with a low and load basket and a parent organizer tray

9. Evan's cute face plastered in the loot bags which people were able to take home after the party

10. More gifts from my thoughtful officemates!!! (baby grooming set, baby thermometer, baby clothes, accessories, a lovely baby bag, etc.)

11. a versatile GRACO car seat cum carrier with parent hood

12. Everyone seems to have a fun (break) time!

Did i already mention that i got to bring home a GRACO baby travel system?!? Hehehe...

Daddy Riki was so ecstatic to pick me up that night!

surprise!!! ang dami kong gifts!!! who's that baby!

lots of yummy food and a lovely purple cake!

a gift from my very generous bosses!!!

cute loot bags more gifts for Evan! messages in a (feeding) bottle

great friends who organized my baby shower

My son is really so lucky, a lot of people loves him already (and he is still in the womb!)
What more when he comes out! :)

Project Armoire

I was shopping last Friday at Gingersnaps for several birthday gifts items for the kiddie parties I was supposed to attend last weekend when I saw this baby t-shirt. I just have to buy it for Evan! Daddy Riki has shirts with the same design and color. Terno sila! Yey!

Evan's first tee

It will be the first item i will hang in his baby armoire, which will be my next project after I give birth. Can’t wait to start it!

lifted the pics and details here!

Evan Speaking...again!

Mommy always tells me "Evan, you are so lucky because you have a kind, loving and cool dad".
I say “I know Mom, we talk every morning while you are still sleeping.”

I really love hanging out with my dad. We always watch Baby Bach Musical Adventure… remember he gave me my second name Sebastian? And I love listening to Coldplay’s latest album in his car (although mommy is complaining already!). So recently, we switched to Baby Genius Nature’s Experience (which thankfully stopped mom's bickering).

Just the other weekend, he bought me my own playard already!!! It was so cool! It has a diaper changing table, a diaper side bag, a bassinet and WTP toy accessories! Most importantly, it is pack and play! So wherever we go, we can bring it with us! Dad assembled it himself (while mommy just sat down capturing the moment in video) the minute we arrived home that day!

Mommy also said, “You know Evan, Daddy can’t wait to finally see and hold you come September.”
I answered ”I know Mom, I caught him reading your book the other night. Hihihi!”

Our Little Man

Forty four more days (or less) and we will finally get to hold our bundle of joy in our arms! Every day is indeed filled with anticipation and excitement now. All we can think of is our little handsome man. I don’t even have time to blog (nor bloghop) nowadays since all my efforts are currently directed to preparations for his arrival. Finally, I have made considerable progress with my Pregnancy Scrapbook! Yey!

But I just can’t let this particular happy event pass undocumented. I have to share it with all of you.

Two weekends ago, we had our 3D/4D Ultrasound Imaging done and we finally got to see Evan’s face for the first time and witness him in live motion!

We watched him move his head from left to right, suck his toe (which was soooo adorable!), yawn and smile many times (which made us – even the sonographer – utter OOHHHH!!! in unison), stretch his cute little feet and kick mommy’s tummy, and move his hands and rub it against his face. All REAL-TIME! The whole experience was indeed so thrilling, memorable and tear-jerking! It was worth every penny (3D sonogram costs triple the conventional 2D black and white ultrasound).

Let me tell you, seeing your baby in realistic surface images provides indeed a special emotional connection. From that moment on, I can see/imagine his face in my mind whenever I look down at my bulging belly, I can visualize him better when I feel his kicks and movements, and his image yawning always brings a smile on my face. That is now my “happy thought”. It is indeed magical!

We also got to bring home a CD copy of all the actual video clips and all the colored snapshots of the entire procedure. So Daddy Riki and I can now watch Evan doing his cute little movements inside my womb anytime we want , over and over again. Better still, we can share such delightful moment with all our families and friends. AND… we can now include these footages when we create his BABY JOURNAL VIDEO. Weee!!

So everyone, take a look at my undeniably handsome and adorable baby!

evan "chubby cheeks" sebastian

adorable yawn

cute little feet

Di ba kamukha ko? :D

Blue It Is!!!

Mothers know best indeed! Guess what, IT’S A BOY!!!

We finally confirmed our baby’s gender this morning when I had my third trimester ultrasound. We are definitely having a baby boy as our first-born! So we can now officially call him EVAN SEBASTIAN. Weeeee!!!

I was supposed to have a 3D/4D Ultrasound earlier but Evan was still in his usual breech position, and was hiding his face from the “camera” (facing backwards or nakadapa!). Hehehe! Nahihiya pa ata sya magpakita kina mommy and daddy. The doctor/sonographer told us that it was not a good position yet for her to perform the 3D/4D Ultrasound. We were so excited pa naman to finally see our baby's face in close up! Sayang! :(

So we just had to do the normal Trans-abdominal Ultrasound to check for his vitals and his gender. He was so malikot during the whole procedure, turning from one side to the other! Good thing the doctor was able to view his genitals at once when we started because for the rest of the process, he hid it from our view already! Hahaha! I think he doesn’t want his thingy to be exposed long enough for everyone in the room to see (he even warned me later not to post the printout in my blog! Hehe!).

We were able to see the current position of his feet and hands as well and actually witness how he moves them (now I know what is kicking me where!). Thankfully, everything is ok and healthy with my playful son! :D

We will try to do the 3D/4D again after two weeks. I just need to have a serious talk with Evan first to change his current fetal position and convince him not to shy away from the “camera” next time.

We’re having a baby boy! :D

Pink or Blue, We Love You

Before my pregnancy, I had always preferred (I don’t want to use the term “wanted” here, it sounds so strong) a girl as my first-born. I am so excited to dress her up, share with her all my kikay activities and escapades and groom her to be a mini-Emi. Riki, surprisingly, also wanted a girl as well. He said he had been so "pasaway" when he was young, he was afraid a boy will give him the same problems he gave his parents. He thinks a girl will be more responsible and thus, will make us both happier.

So when we finally received the good news last January, we started calling our baby (in the womb) ELLE, even though we are not sure of the gender still. We don’t have a second name picked out yet. But I was already planning her birthday party motif, her wardrobe closet and her photo/video shots in my mind. And Riki, of course, was in seventh heaven.

Then, an officemate told me early February to check out my baby’s gender at this site

http://www.findyourfate.com/chineseastro/lunarcalender.html. Just for fun. Guess what? It told me I’m having a boy! Dubious, I let all my mommy friends take the test as well for benchmarking. And they confirmed that it indeed gives the correct results. Oh no, time for a paradigm shift.

From then on, we changed our baby’s name to EVAN (still my choice). Riki wanted the second name – SEBASTIAN. I wanted GAEL. But Riki violently objected. Meron daw sya kaseng kilalang manlalasing sa province named Mang Gael. Ok fine! I’m cool with Sebastian. At least rocker pa rin dating ng name ng baby boy namin! Hehehe! As months passed, I started to love those two names dearly and can’t wait to write it in his birth certificate.

So all over again, we started getting excited on the prospects of having a boy. Riki is now imagining giving Evan guitar lessons early (so they can sing together during Parent-Child day in school), going on fishing trips together (without Mommy! Hmph!) and wearing matching Lacoste t-shirts (paid by Mommy’s money). I, on the other hand, was re-constructing his wardrobe closet in my mind already.

During my second trimester ultrasound last May, we were so excited to finally confirm the baby’s gender, but he/she was in a breech position, covering his/her “thingy” with his/her bended legs! Hay grabe ‘tong batang to! Sinu-suspense pa si mommy and daddy!

So we continue calling him EVAN. And treating him as a baby boy.

Which almost everyone around us contradicted. Almost all are telling me every day that it is a girl, based on how I look preggy and on my overall aura. Imagine, I have only one friend who told me it is otherwise! Well, I still say, it’s a boy! Based on the kicks I feel, the skin pigmentation I’m having (huhu!) and the size of my uterus. My doctor said my baby is long, mana ke daddy!

Honestly, this debate is really adding to our excitement. Girl or boy, we will definitely be happy and contented because this is God’s greatest gift to us. Still in the womb, he/she had been a good luck charm to both of us eversince, personally and professionally. Our only wish is that he/she be a healthy baby.

So pink or blue, we will definitely love you BABY.

And you will definitely have a lot of purple baby things! ;)

This Saturday, I will have my third trimester 3D ultrasound. We will finally put to rest this issue of gender.

Will keep you all updated next week! :D

Evan Speaking...

My mommy said “Guess what Dad, big babies (inside the womb) can hear sounds and voices already during the second trimester onwards!”

My daddy instantly brought home many classical music CDS for me and mommy to listen to.
He also started reading me bedtime stories at night.

After a while…

My mommy said again “Dad, Evan knows Finding Nemo too well already!”
My daddy replied, “Well then, let me introduce him to Harry Potter now… but… in my favorite language!”
He then ordered this book from Italy especially for Mommy and me!

"Capita! Grazie Papa!"

Now, he reads me three pages or so of HP each night…using his cool “Godfather” accent.
“Capisci Evan?”
“Cristallino Papa! Ti voglio Bene!” Mwah!

Isn’t my Dad the coolest?
I can’t wait to get out and see him!

Expecting on Mother's Day

Last Sunday was my first ever Mother’s Day!!! After 30 years of greeting everyone else, now is my turn to be hailed to the fold and enjoy the privileges of this special day of the year.

Some might say I am not a full-pledged mother yet, just an expecting one. But no matter what adjective you stick to it (gravid, brooding, conceiving, impregnated, with child, with young), the operative word is still “mother”. And I am one already. Hehe!

Substantiation? Check out Evan playing in my insides! (this was taken when he was still 8 weeks young...now he's 22 weeks old...growing fast indeed!)

So how was my first mother’s day, you may ask? Mega expecting that I am, I was waiting for a bouquet of fresh flowers from my better half first thing in the morning. That’s what I do for my mother/grandmother/favorite aunties every year on this special day. So this time, I expect to get one as well. But alas, until the setting of the mighty sun, I was still expecting. How appropriate.

It has always been the nature of my spouse to go against my expectations. If he knows I am expecting a ring on our anniversary, he will give me a bracelet instead. But still, he will give me the ring on a later date. When I least expect it. Or in some cases, when I have given hope already. That is his own way of surprising me (which is very difficult…because I am...again...the magic word… always expecting!) Well, at least I still get what I want in the end. After lots of expecting nga lang.

But this does not mean he didn’t do anything to treat me on this special Sunday. It turned out he just have a different plan of indulging me. And at the end of the day, what he did was more thoughtful and meaningful than what I was anticipating.

He brought me to Gingersnaps, patiently waited while I browsed through all the stuff, excitedly tried on numerous items, and most importantly, encouraged me get all the items I want (no limits!) and afterwards, he paid for all of it! Before this day, I was still using my normal clothes (except for two maternity pants I bought earlier) since my tummy is not yet that big.

He made me feel that I am indeed on my way to motherhood already, and can definitely start looking like one. And consistently, as what he always does during medical check-ups, emergency check-ups, morning sickness flashes, he was always there to share the joy (and sometimes difficulties) of the moment with me, my ever present and sympathetically pregnant hubby.

And to make things more wonderful, Evan was kicking like crazy while I try all those maternity clothes, evidently sharing in mom and dad’s blissful experience.

What more can a first-time mom ask for on her first mother’s day?* :D

*well, actually this! and he gave it to me a few days after (since the person who bought it in Amsterdam came the week after Mother's day!). A welcome addition to my growing HP foreign edition collection. I love my better-half sooooo much! Thanks beybi! Mwah!

HP Dutch Version

Dreamlike Period

Yesterday, I looked down at the scale with disbelief in my eyes. I have to ignore it. It is so surreal. So I validated once again this morning. And yes, it is the same angle as yesterday. I have indeed lost ten pounds since fours weeks ago!!!

I have strived for the past years to lose even just five pounds, and the operative word here is STRIVED. Strive means to do your outmost, go all-out! However, gravity (or whatever force is applicable!) always seems to pull the lever to the right. Always to the right.

Now that i don't even attempt to try, i lost twice my past goal. I guess pregnancy during the first trimester is indeed more effective than South Beach Diet.

So Emi cherish this now. You will gain all of it in just four days during your second trimester.

When You Are Finally Expecting

The day has come that I can freely announce to the world my greatest joy to date!

It is now official. Yes folks, I am finally… PREGNANT!!!!! I am now 6 weeks on the way to motherhood. Woohooo!



Remember my post last January 7? It was the day I found out a friend (who got married a month after me) was pregnant. It was I guess the fourth announcement I got of the same type for the year, and it made me really depressed… and envious. I spent the whole weekend whining and moping over it. Why is it so hard for me to have the same blessing as they have? But as I whine, I prayed hard as well.

And God, as usual, was very quick to answer my prayers. As Riki used to say, “In God’s good time baby…in God’s good time".

In God’s good time indeed! The following week, Monday to be exact, I was supposed to get my monthly period. And it didn’t came. And I WAS NEVER LATE. I was so regular I know exactly the day when the next visit will come. That night, I bought my very first PREGNANCY TEST KIT.

Tuesday, Jan 11.
Early that morning, Riki woke me up bugging me to take the test already (they say it is advisable to take such test early in the morning over any other time of the day for best results). I told him it was my first day of missed period so maybe we should wait one or two more days just to be sure. And besides, I have an early and important telecon meeting at 8 am. I might not be able to concentrate on it depending on the results. But my dear husband was so persistent. So still-sleepy me took the test, and whoa! The results were TWO PURPLE LINES. Yes, you read it right. PURPLE lines. Nope, I didn’t choose the specific kit brand, I just bought it OTC at Mercury Drug and they gave me that brand. Call that destiny.

When I saw the lines, I read the instructions in the box again:

STANDARD OF INTERPRETATION:
1. If only the purple band is visible in the upper part of the control region and no clear band on the test region, the result is negative (not pregnant).
2. If two distinct purple bands appear on the control and test region, the result is positive (pregnant).
3. If no visible lines appear, the test should be repeated using a fresh new device.

There it is. TWO PURPLE BANDS = POSITIVE (PREGNANT).
Thank you Lord for answering our prayers!!!!!!!!!

Riki and I were so happy and excited we called our mothers and Riki’s Dad right then and there. Yes, early that very morning. They all advised us to go see a doctor for confirmation.

So, after going about our normal work requirements that morning, we can’t wait any longer so we both took the afternoon off work and went to Medical City for consultation (let me just say that hospital is so beautiful compared to the others I have been to before! There is even a Starbucks at the ground floor!). At this point, we don’t have our own OB-GYNE yet so just did a walk-in to anyone who is available that moment. I just have one requirement to the hospital staff arranging our appointment, I want a LADY doctor.

The lady doctor we consulted asked me the standard questions at first (i.e when was my last visit, medical history, allergies, etc.) and then performed an IE (Internal Examination) on me. I have never in my life consulted an OB before so I thought an IE was just like the normal physical examination. But I was so wrong! Shocked I may be at what this procedure required, I obediently followed the doctor’s instructions and submitted myself to her examination. Afterwards, she declared my ovary’s position ok. Whew. I was so weak after that procedure.

Wrapping up our consultation, she said it was too early still (I was declared only four weeks pregnant that time) to do an ultrasound to check if the baby has a heartbeat. So she instructed us to come back on the second week of February. What!??!!? I have to wait that long to confirm if my pregnancy is indeed viable or not? So I asked her directly if I can safely assume that I am already and indeed pregnant, and she said, results of pregnancy tests are normally considered 99% accurate (and since I bought my kit for a price higher than a hundred bucks), yes I can safely assume I am pregnant already.

We left the hospital BITIN. We went there hoping for a confirmation on our initial findings and all we got is an instruction to return four weeks later to get that confirmation. We didn’t even get a pep talk on what to do or expect during pregnancy! Well, she just advised me to start taking folic acid already for the “neural tube development something” of my baby.

So we decided to get a second opinion and went straight to Clinica Manila. The lady doctor who attended to us was more accommodating and friendlier than the first. However, she told us the same things (that the ultrasound to determine the heartbeat and viability of the pregnancy can only be done when I’m six weeks or later already). Nevertheless, she was able to answer all our queries and gave us preliminary tips on how to make sure this pregnancy will be safe and viable.

We still went home bitin, but at least pacified and better informed about this great development in our family life.


Wednesday, Jan 12.
Remember the friend who I learned was pregnant last Friday? It turned out it was a false alarm. I immediately contacted her via email (she is out-of-the-country) and asked what happened. She told me the same things I just detailed above. Positive pregnancy test, initial tests and advise by the doctor to come back two weeks after for the ultrasound, and assurance that pregnancy test results are almost accurate. She had spotting and heavy bleeding afterwards the day after they went to the doctor. It turned out to be her monthly period.

Now I am totally paranoid. Aside from the pregnancy results, I have no other evidence that I am indeed pregnant! Well, based on my research, I have all the symptoms of a pregnant woman. Tenderness/soreness of a certain body part, gagging, bloating (yes, I know this can be occurring even to non-pregnant women!), headaches and fevers, and most important of all, missed period.

But until I see the baby inside my womb via an ultrasound, I cannot be one hundred percent sure! This is torture.

So, Riki and I decided that we should just limit this good news to our family and close friends for the meantime, until we get the final confirmation.

Saturday, Jan 15.
While waiting for my ultrasound schedule, I have already started looking for my prospective OB-GYNE. I’ve asked my mother friends for referrals and advise.

One of them referred a resident doctor in Makati Med, which is near my office. So we went to check her out that Saturday morning. But before even reaching her room, we went through a lot of stress already – full parking, maze of dark halls with no clear signs on what sections are being housed there, slow elevators servicing selected floors. Everyone and everything seems to be in chaos. The ambiance is indeed very hospital-like, a place for sick people. Unlike in the new Medical City where you won’t feel you are inside a hospital.

But since we are there already, we still tried to find the doctor. When we finally reached her room, there was a very long queue of patients waiting outside. She must be really good. But we were advised by the assistant that we might not be able to make it inside till the end of consultation time due to the long queue.

So we left without even seeing the doctor. Oh well, everything happens for a reason. Maybe we are destined to find our OB-GYNE in Medical City after all.


Tuesday, Jan 25.
I am attending a workshop in Singapore for the week. After our session on this day, I went back to my hotel room to rest for a while before I meet a friend for dinner. It was then that I discovered I was bleeding. It was not that heavy but still I got scared. First of all, I was in a foreign land, it was already nighttime so most clinics might be closed already, and most importantly, Riki was not there with me. I don’t know what to do next. Good thing my friend Lisa was there so I called her up and she persuaded me to go see a doctor. She was able to find a 24-hour Women’s Clinic in one of the local hospitals and brought me there.

All these times, I haven’t called Riki yet to tell him what happened. I was so scared he will get mad at me. He was having second thoughts about me traveling in the first place given my present condition.

The specialist in the clinic was a pleasant young lady doctor, thank God. (On the way to the hospital, Lisa was telling me her experience with a male OB-GYNE there.) She initially asked me about my pregnancy history and the bleeding incident. Afterwards, she said I need to undergo the ultrasound so that she can check if the baby is ok and what caused the bleeding.

Riki had been very excited and is eagerly waiting for this ultrasound schedule. He said last week that I should not do it without him by my side. He wanted that we see our baby for the first time together. So when the doctor told me that we have to do it now, I felt sad and guilty. I wanted Riki to be there during the first ultrasound as we planned, but this is a critical moment. If I don’t do it now, I might be in bigger trouble.

So the doctor proceeded with the ultrasound procedure. You might be thinking this very moment that the ultrasound I am talking about is the normal one where the physician places the device on top of the woman’s belly. You’re wrong. For the first trimester of pregnancy, the ultrasound being performed is transvaginal. I don’t need to explain further.

And there it was. Right in front of me, in the screen, is the image of my baby with a heartbeat! I AM INDEED PREGNANT!!! And most importantly, the baby is ok. I cried alone silently, out of great joy of seeing her/him for the first time, that she/he is indeed growing inside me. I cried alone silently, out of sadness, that I can’t share this moment with Riki as we planned.

I didn’t get the printed copy of the ultrasound. When I fly back to Manila, Riki and I will do this procedure again, and we will see our baby with a heartbeat already, moving inside my womb, together. Then we will get the printed copy.

The doctor said the spotting was normal for some pregnant women. There was nothing wrong with me nor the baby. She just gave me medicine to help stop the bleeding and help the baby grow healthier. The spotting stopped the next day.

I called Riki and told him everything that happened when we were already out of the hospital. He was worried of course, and sad that he wasn’t there beside me, but I think the joy of finally confirming that we will be parents soon overshadowed the former. He can’t wait for me and our baby to be back home.

This incident was indeed scary, but I guess my baby just wanted to expedite her/his first appearance to Mom, to cast away all my doubts and to assure me that she/he is indeed growing inside, so that I can take care of her/him better now.

What a bright kid! Love you baby.